So I realize that I haven't updated the blog since before the little man was born, and that it's been over a month, but if having a newborn isn't a good enough excuse- I think having one with as many medical issues as Levi should be! More on that later, for now I want to write out my birth story before I forget it. I have relived that day and a half (yup) many times since then and, as stressful and long as it was, I have no regrets and would not have changed a thing. But I am getting ahead of myself, let me start with the week leading up to Levi's birth.
If I should ever have another child, I will practice this same routine at week 35 just in case I always have early babies. Our Vacation Bible School had concluded Sunday with the kids' big performance. It was a great end to the long week and I instantly had a sense of relief as most of my church responsibilities were completed for the summer! On Monday I headed to the chiropractor who readjusted me and made my hip pain all but disappear. Tuesday morning I woke up with the urge to finish off all of my final church responsibilities (hello, sign!) and so I did. I made every form, calendar, and announcement for the rest of the summer. I then went for a massage. Courtney made the swelling in my feet go away (hooray!) and helped me relax completely. We also discussed some techniques for labor.
Then, on Wednesday morning, I entered what I refer to as the earliest stage of labor. I had been contracting every 5-10 mins for a month but on Wednesday I noticed physical changes (see previous post). I also went to yoga Wednesday night and did many squats! On Thursday I got a manicure and pedicure and Friday abigail and I power walked the mall. Why so much activity? Well, once things started on Wednesday morning I figured that it could be happening soon.
On Friday night I started having back pain and thought they might be contractions. They weren't time-able but were pretty intense. I went to bed thinking they might go away with rest. At 5 am I woke up to go to the bathroom and, as I rolled over, I felt a strange sensation. Hmmmm. I quickly ran to the bathroom to find that, indeed, my water broke. I yelled out to Matt who came flying out of the bedroom to see what was wrong. I explained and thus began our day- the day we'd have our baby, right? Well not so much.
I called my midwife to let her know and she said that as long as the contractions weren't bad we could take our time. So we showered and got ready, double checked the bags and I notified the troops. My father, of course, had left for vacation Friday afternoon. I tried telling him to wait to come home but he had none of it. I think Abigail met us at our house... the morning part is a little bit of a blur.
Anyway, we checked in, they did some test to make sure my water had broken and then they did an exam while they monitored the baby and I. 1 cm- WHAT?! After a month of contracting and broken water at 36 weeks I'm not even dilated? She informed me that the baby's head had actually lowered to a -1, but did so in front of my cervix (making the exams extra fun) and explained that the action wasn't putting enough pressure to dilate me. So I spent the day bouncing, walking, squatting, bathing, sitting in different chairs, laying on my side, and trying to open my hips. All things I had learned in my birthing class. As I walked the halls, pausing to breath through contractions the nurses kept noting how I continued to laugh and smile. I'm not sure how I did since I was having serious back labor. Can I just say, Matt was amazing through this all. He actually threw his own back out putting pressure on my lower back and hips and really helped relieve at least some pain.
At some point that afternoon, they checked me again- 1.5. Seriously? After dinner they came in and told me that they would come in that night to give me sleep medicine and antibiotics. They then told me that in the morning they would be starting pitocin. I lost it. Literally. I began crying and had to ask everyone to leave my room- the amazing nurse suggested drawing a bath and turning the lights off. She sat and talked with me, answering my questions as I sobbed. I wanted to have a baby today- my water broke- i'm contracting- what am I doing wrong here? I was also scared to death of pit, convinced I'd end up with a c-section or labor so hard and fast I wouldn't be able to handle it. The nurse got me calm and Matt came in to sit with me, in the dark. I felt much better about life.
After the Yankee's game (hehe) I took the medicine for sleep and got the antibiotics started (b/c my water had been broken so long). They hooked me up for constant monitoring through the night and left me be. For our last night before we became parents. I slept on and off, waking for contractions and falling back asleep. I woke feeling rested around 7.
The nurse came in and asked if I was ready to start the pitocin. Holding back tears I asked for an hour to mentally prepare myself. I think it was about 9:45 when they actually came in with the pit and started the drip. I told the nurse I wanted to have my baby before the Yankee's game at 1, she laughed. I conceded, "okay, by the post-game". Within a few minutes, I had a horrid contraction where I realized that the baby had corkscrewed and put himself in the right place and position. Contractions from then on out felt entirely different, productive. In an hour, at about 11 the contractions were so intense I could no longer talk through them. Even in between them I just zoned preparing for the next. I remember hearing someone chewing next to me and saying, "can you please not make that noise right next to me." See, I was still polite even through my pain! Haha. At 11 I asked the nurse to have the midwife check me. That was a horribly painful experience, but she happily announced- loose 8!!! I sobbed again. I was actually making progress and would have a baby. It was at that point that the contractions were on top of eachother and off the charts painful. I broke, I told the nurse I couldn't do it and asked for an epidural. She laughed. She said- honey you're in transition, it's too late.
I have since learned that during transition most women decide they can't take it. She suggested another bath- genius! I got in the tub and don't really remember most of that time. I never had the "I'm going to die" fear, I never had fear about it really. I just remember thinking, "how much longer will this last?" I also remember that at one point I told Matt that he should be taping this, he sternly suggested that was not the best idea. "But we can show this to those youth group girls and they will never have sex!" Hahaha. Clear thinking at its best. At some point my low ton groaning (thank you birth class) turned into grunting and I think I sounded like a dying cow. I didn't care, it helped. I never yelled or swore, I was loud, but it wasn't angry or anything. It was just pain.
When my midwife heard the shift from groan to grunt she decided it was time to push. HALLELUJAH!!!!! I just remember feeling such relief and happiness, it was finally time to have a baby! Well, after that pesky pushing thing. Whoever said pushing is a relief is a liar. It was more frustrating than the 32 hours of waiting before. I was confused, trying to somehow command my muscles coordinate as I tried to push aside the pain of a contraction. Not knowing if things were moving was beyond frustrating. Matt said at least a million times, he's right there you're doing it. I finally said, "Honey can you please stop saying that." (See, still polite). At which point the midwife informed him that this is generally a good time not to talk. haha.
I focused, and I pushed harder than I ever knew imaginable. If there was a burning ring of fire I don't remember it. I do remember the feeling of her taking the baby by his head and pulling him out. I remember the sounds of the baby screaming and I remember her saying take your baby. I was so confused she had to tell me twice! I pulled the rest of him out and put him on my chest. I remembered to check- It's a boy! I was shocked and immediately checked again to be sure. I had been convinced the whole pregnancy that he was a boy until the last week, when I suddenly changed my mind! Haha.
After cuddling with him for a while I let Melinda take him to measure and weigh him as I told Matt to go tell his family. What an insane 25 minutes from first push to first cry. What a rush of intense emotions as I officially became a mother with a son. There is this certain crying face that he makes that sends me right back to that moment, of the first time I saw him as I reached down to scoop him up.
At 36 weeks and 1 day (on my parent's wedding anniversary) Levi Clifford Wesley was born weighing 7lb3oz measuring 19 (or so) inches- there's some debate!
What happened over the next month, both emotionally and physically, is something that will have to be shared later. Nothing could have prepared me for the last 5 weeks. If you have made it through this entire story, congratulations. I didn't really expect anyone would. I just wanted to make sure that I had this all down before I forgot it. (No, you don't forget the pain as soon as they're born but I can say that the memory of it has faded).
If I should do this again, though I hope a shorter journey, I wouldn't change anything. Not the lack of pain meds or the switch to a midwife at a less intense hospital. Nothing.
Oh, and he was born 30 minutes before the first pitch. He's obviously a Yankees fan!!
Levi is 5w5d
